If you are about to attend mediation, you are likely feeling a mix of emotions. Whether your mediation relates to parenting arrangements or a property settlement, knowing how to prepare for mediation properly can make a huge difference to your clarity, confidence and ability to reach a workable agreement.
At Martens Legal, we specialise in helping clients achieve amicable legal solutions through clear and strategic planning. To support you further, this guide takes things a step deeper—offering both emotional and practical insights to help you prepare for mediation. With this comprehensive mediation prep checklist, you’ll feel calm, in control, and ready to move forward with confidence.
Why It Matters To Prepare For Mediation
Mediation is more than just showing up and stating your case. To prepare for mediation effectively, it’s important to focus on finding common ground, knowing what matters most to you, and having the tools to communicate that clearly and respectfully.
A well-prepared client is more likely to:
- Stay focused on long-term outcomes rather than short-term frustrations
- Respond rather than react in the moment
- Reach agreements that reflect their goals and values
- Save time and money by avoiding unnecessary conflict
Let us take you through how to prepare for mediation properly with our detailed checklist.
Checklist To Prepare For Mediation
1. Prepare For Mediation: Understand the Process
Before the day arrives, make sure you understand what mediation is and what it is not. Mediation is a voluntary, confidential process where you and the other party work with a neutral third-party mediator to try to reach agreement.
The mediator is not a judge. They do not make decisions or take sides. Their role is to guide the conversation, ensure both voices are heard, and keep the discussion constructive.
Knowing what to expect will help you feel more grounded from the start.
2. Get Clear on Your Priorities: Prepare For Mediation
One of the most powerful things you can do before mediation is to reflect on what really matters to you.
Ask yourself:
- What are my non-negotiables?
- What am I open to compromising on?
- What outcomes would I feel comfortable with?
- What are my long-term goals (for myself, my children, my finances)?
Your lawyer can help you define these clearly so you walk into mediation with direction, not confusion.
3. Bring Notes and Questions
Mediation can move quickly, and it is easy to lose track of your thoughts in the moment. Come prepared with:
- A list of topics you want to cover
- Any documents or financial information relevant to the discussion
- Questions you want to ask (about the process or possible outcomes)
- Key points you do not want to forget
This helps you stay focused and avoid walking away feeling like you forgot something important.
4. Be Open to Compromise
It can be tempting to view mediation as a chance to “win” or hold firm on your position. But mediation works best when both parties come willing to listen, problem-solve and consider alternative solutions.
However, that does not mean giving up what matters. Instead, it means understanding that a successful outcome often involves both sides moving slightly to meet in the middle.
Focus on solutions, not blame. The goal is not to prove a point but to create a workable agreement.
5. Prepare for Mediation Emotionally
Mediation can be emotionally charged, especially if you are still processing the breakdown of a relationship. Take the time to:
- Reflect on your triggers and how you might respond calmly
- Practice deep breathing or other calming techniques
- Talk through your concerns with a lawyer, counsellor or trusted friend
This emotional preparation can be just as important as your legal preparation. Feeling calm and clear-headed makes it easier to express yourself respectfully and consider options thoughtfully.
6. Think About Your Communication Style
How you communicate in mediation matters. Be mindful of:
- Using “I” statements (e.g. “I feel” or “I would like”) rather than blaming language
- Listening actively and not interrupting
- Staying respectful even when you disagree
If you struggle with assertive communication, consider doing a practice session with your lawyer or support person ahead of time.
7. Choose Your Support Wisely
Most mediations are done with lawyers present, and can make all the difference to an outcome on the day as they can assist you to work through any offers and workshop ideas and outcomes. If your lawyer will not be in the room with you, make sure you have at least have a pre-mediation session with them to talk through strategy and questions.
You might also choose to bring a support person for emotional support (if allowed). This could be a friend or family member who is calm, non-judgemental and focused on helping you stay grounded.
8. Review Financial and Parenting Documents
If you are attending property mediation, make sure you have up-to-date financial information. This includes:
- Bank statements
- Superannuation balances
- Property values
- Liabilities or debts
For parenting mediation, think through your children’s needs and routines. You may want to bring notes or schedules that reflect:
- School and extracurricular commitments
- Special needs or considerations
- Your proposed parenting arrangements
Overall, the more organised you are, the smoother the discussions will be.
9. Dress Comfortably and Arrive Early
It might sound small, but comfort matters. Wear something that makes you feel confident and relaxed. Arriving early gives you time to settle in, breathe and avoid any added stress from running late.
If your mediation is online, make sure your tech is working ahead of time and choose a quiet, private space.
10. Remember the Bigger Picture
Finally, keep perspective. Mediation is just one step in a larger process. Your goal is not perfection but progress. Even small agreements or areas of understanding can lay the groundwork for a stronger resolution.
To begin with, remind yourself why you are doing this. For many clients, it is about protecting their children, securing their financial future, or simply finding peace.
What Happens After Mediation?
If you reach an agreement, your mediator or lawyer can help formalise it in a legally binding document such as Consent Orders or a Binding Financial Agreement.
If no agreement is reached, that does not mean the process failed. Sometimes mediation helps clarify issues and narrow down what still needs to be resolved. Your lawyer will help you explore your next options, whether that includes further negotiation or taking steps through the court.
FAQs
What should I bring to mediation?
If you have a lawyer, generally, you should not need to bring anything. However, if you are attending without a lawyer, it’s helpful to bring any relevant documents, a notepad and pen, and a list of topics or questions. Additionally, if your mediation relates to property, make sure to bring up-to-date financial information, if it hasn’t already been provided ahead of the day. For parenting matters, consider bringing notes on your proposed arrangements and your children’s needs.
How long does mediation take?
Typically, most mediations last between 4 to 8 hours, but it can vary depending on the complexity of the issues. In some cases, it may take a full day or even occur over multiple sessions.
Can I bring someone with me?
Yes, you may be able to bring a support person. If your lawyer will not be attending, you can also speak to them beforehand to prepare.
What if I get emotional during mediation?
It is completely normal. Mediators are trained to handle emotions with care. If you feel overwhelmed, you can ask for a break or use calming strategies you have practised in advance.
Is mediation legally binding?
No, not by itself. However, if you reach agreement, your lawyer can help turn it into legally binding Consent Orders or another formal document.
Need Help Preparing for Mediation?
At Martens Legal, we take a proactive, human-centred approach to mediation. We will help you get clear on your goals, stay calm and feel confident every step of the way. If you have an upcoming mediation or are unsure where to start, reach out to our team for a chat.
