To begin with, an inside look at what to expect—and how it can help you move forward. At Martens Legal, resolutions matter—and family law and mediation are often key to moving forward with confidence.
If you’re new to it, family law and mediation can raise more questions than answers—and that’s completely normal. What does it actually look like?
Is it formal? Is it awkward? Do I have to sit in the same room as my ex? How long will it take? In this post, we’re breaking down exactly what happens behind the scenes of family law and mediation so you can feel informed, empowered, and prepared.
First up: What is family law and mediation?
In essence, mediation is a structured, confidential process where an independent third party (the mediator) helps two people work through their legal issues—like property settlement or parenting arrangements—without going to court.
It’s designed to keep things calm, collaborative, and focused on solutions.
Before Mediation Day: What to Know About Family Law and Mediation
Here’s what happens in the lead-up to mediation:
- Initial consultations: Both parties will usually meet separately with their own lawyers to get clear on their legal position and goals. At Martens Legal, this is where we help you create a strategy tailored to your desired outcomes.
- Mediation brief: Your lawyer will prepare a brief for the mediator, summarising key issues and your proposed resolutions. Mediation preparation is a crucial part of this process and ensures you are fully informed as to your options, outcomes as well as negotiation strategies, and that everyone is on the same page going into the day.
- Logistics: You’ll also decide on the format—whether it’s in-person or virtual, in the same room or using separate rooms (commonly called shuttle mediation). If emotions are running high, don’t worry—being in the same room is not required and is rarely ever recommended in family law matters. Our preference at Martens Legal is in-person with the mediator; however using separate rooms.
What Happens During Mediation?
On mediation day, here’s what to expect:
- Introductions + ground rules
The mediator explains their role, outlines how the day will run, and sets the tone: respectful, solutions-focused, and confidential. - Opening statements
Each party (usually through their lawyer) shares their perspective and what they hope to achieve. This isn’t a debate—it’s a chance to clarify goals and concerns. - Issue-by-issue discussion
The mediator works with both parties to explore options and guide you toward common ground. You may be in the same room or the mediator may move between rooms, depending on the setup. - Negotiation + proposals
This part can take a few hours or several depending on complexity. You’ll discuss various proposals and may go back and forth to refine the terms of an agreement. - Drafting an agreement
If you reach agreement, the lawyers can draft Legal Documents, if there is time, to finalise things legally or if there is not enough time, a high level overview as to the agreement itself, as well as the steps and timeframes to finalise the Legal Documents following mediation.
If you don’t reach an agreement, which is not always possible, you’ll still walk away with clarity on the next steps to achieve a resolution —and may be better positioned to resolve things outside court later.
What Mediation Isn’t
- It’s not a courtroom battle.
- It’s not about “winning” or “losing.”
- And it’s definitely not about dragging things out.
Mediation is about practical solutions and compromise by everyone that helps parties move forward with confidence and clarity.
Why Mediation Works
It works because it puts you in control—not the court. With the right legal support and right mediator, mediation can be an empowering experience for everyone. You don’t just get a legal outcome—you get peace of mind, a clear path forward, and often, a better co-parenting or post-separation relationship.
Thinking About Mediation?
At Martens Legal, we specialise in helping people navigate separation with clarity and care. If you’re considering mediation, we’re here to guide you through the process and help you walk away with a resolution that feels right.
Book a confidential chat today.
